You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
