You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 ðŸžðŸ·
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
