talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Randomize
