It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
