yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
