I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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