brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
