Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
