I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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