omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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