What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm always down for nudity.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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