I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
