I seem to have left my pride at pride
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
