you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
operation have a gay friend backfired
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
