it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
