Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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