Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
