Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
