Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
