he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I AM VODKA MAN
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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