I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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