Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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