She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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