mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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