i don't like sucking hair
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
