hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
