I don't think brook has ever known best
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
