I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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