Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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