can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
