He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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