Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
