just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
