he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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