Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
