You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
