I feel great
I just peed on a car
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
