well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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