i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
