Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
