I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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