I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
