I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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