I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
