That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
