i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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