Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
