You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
