Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
