Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
