Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
