David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
its not stalking. its research.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
